Campusdichter

They should have warned me about the time
The time spent wishing
The time spent wanting
The time spent crying

Someone should have told me about the prices
The price of rent and energy bills
The price of food and transport
The price of not seeing loved ones for years while sacrificing to achieve your dreams

If I could swim across the ocean to see them I would
Yet I have to swim across the sea of seasonal depression
When I forget to take my vitamin D pills

I call. When I can
When I can muster the strength to hold back tears
And can pick my thoughts up from the dampness of my pillow

It’s not all bad, I have a community in Tilburg
I have a family member here
I even have friends! My mom would be so happy to meet my friends

But my friends can't meet my mom
I mean they can call her but no one ever really talks about the non-monetary price of having to leave
home

At first the well of emotions draws you in
You’re free!
But then you begin to miss the noise, miss the chaos, miss the lack of time management

I wish someone - anyone would have told me
Even the immigration official could have said “Hey! Little girl, it gets cold over there”
Cold? That’s alright I can just get a jacket

No, it gets really cold
The kind of cold you only feel in your soul
The kind of cold that only the African sun can heat up
The kind of cold your mother’s warm hugs make you feel

The sun is not our friend for most of the year
In Tilburg she hides, perhaps out of fear
Fear that she might heat up the entire place
Fear that in Tilburg, there won't be a trace

A trace of laughter from a couple sharing hot chocolate
A trace of trembling shoulders from a student who’s late
She won’t come out till Spring at least
By then the school year is over and students feast

Her companion, the wind makes us shudder in Winter
On rainy days, we could tell he missed her
He lashes out on residents just trying to cycle
By lifting them in the air, he feels no pity, he spirals

When the Wind feels he’s had enough for one day
He lets his brother Rain come in Autumn to take our warmth away
Rain comes out often, relentlessly proud
And sometimes unashamedly he’s effortlessly loud

He muddies up the Spoorpark, he fills up the gutters
What’s worse, he leaves the students all drenched as they stutter
Most people don't drive, so they cycle all wet
While Rain watches on, no morsel of regret

“Jij bent niet van suiker gemaakt!” people say to themselves

But wait! It’s summer again, that means she’s returned!
Our hope, our ray, our sunshine! She burns!
She lights up the town and provides us with heat
She leaves fear behind, makes Rain obsolete

The door opens at eight o’clock in the morning
The floor is silent, the chairs are empty and the screens black
I select a seat by the window so I can watch as people cycle by
Open up my laptop, drink my coffee and cut myself some slack

At 9am people start to enter, the first hour is the worst
I fidget every time someone walks by, wondering if they’ll say something
At 10am I ease into my seat, I own the place, I feel complete
I’m so relaxed I forget I’m there and even begin humming while drumming

Two more hours go by and I feel I’m in the clear
The tension is released, the library is bustling yet I feel I’m the only one there
But then I feel it. A presence. Beside me. Hovering over me.
I look up and there’s a girl. Not looking at me but just past me.

“Hi, I think I reserved this seat. Is it okay if you move?”
I blink. I blink twice for good measure and remove my headphones just to be sure
She reserved it? She reserved it?!
Suddenly the past 4 hours of relaxation felt premature

What do you even say to that? What can you even do?
She reserved it of course but what about you?!

You who sat in that chair for 4 hours before she arrived
You who waited anxiously for someone else to surmise
That that was not your seat, you didn’t make a booking
You only managed to find an empty seat but now…you’ll have to go looking

You who will have to walk around the library acting homeless
You who can practically hear the thoughts of passersby
Saying “She didn't even make a reservation. Of course she was asked to move”
You’ll shuffle along, knowing they all disapprove

I mumble a quick apology and hurriedly gather my things
I’m dropping pens and books and bottles in every direction
Why didn’t she do this at 8am when I wouldn’t be walking on pins
When it wouldn’t feel like everyone is staring through my embarrassing collection

Maybe next time it won't be reserved
Or may she’ll be on time
One thing I know is, I’ll never remember to make a reservation online

What would you like to be taught today
The options vary, don’t be shy, everyone’s here to learn
Leave your bad sportsmanship by the door
And please remember to keep high spirits till we adjourn

Now, let’s get started
In a game of true wit there is no winner or loser
In a game of chess there is no checkmate or stalemate
There is simply a player whose intelligence saw the future

Three quick lessons to be learnt today
Lesson one, a game is never just a game
Even children take something away from the game of tag
What you take from it is up to you, whether victory or shame

Lesson two, you decide whether you have opponents or allies
In a political debate there is no such thing as a winner
All parties want the best outcome from the situation
But if you know the game well enough then you can choose to paint others as saint or sinner

Lesson three, always remember that you’re playing
Simply that! You’re meant to have fun and feel no shame
We all pick our poison as to what we enjoy
So why not use this chance to feel like a child again

The university provides it all tonight
Pick from your poison to your heart’s delight
Whether it's debates and talks or board games and walks
Tonight we play, show no restraint nor any delay