‘The proposal in Rome was like something out of a movie’

That Jeroen was going to study at Tilburg University was an easy decision. “My parents lived a fifteen-minute bike ride from the campus,” he says. “My dad worked in bookkeeping, and I thought that would be nice, too. So I chose Business Economics.” Femke, on the other hand, is from southern Limburg and wanted a change of scene. “I went to many open days. I wanted to do something with numbers, but Eindhoven University of Technology sounded boring. Tilburg’s vibrant campus was a different matter. So that is where I went.”

A little spark

Femke found student accommodation at Wagnerplein in northern Tilburg. And went partying a lot. Jeroen liked a party as well. “In secondary school, I was the quite type so, as a student, I thought I‘d better do some catching up. I became a member of Plato and also found a student room after a year.” It was not until later on in their studies that they decided they wanted more substance and both became members of study association TOP-DOWN.

This association, what is now Asset Strategy & Logistics, was rather small: thirty members in total. Jeroen: “We met one evening at the association in October 1997.” The next year, Jeroen became the president of the club. “I had to recruit the board members myself, so I also spoke to Femke. She liked the prospect of board membership. When I went to an activity at one of our sister associations, I asked Femke along. We went there together and concluded the day in a pub. At the end of the evening, there was a little spark. And it kindled a great fire.”

Taking it easy

“The board membership of the study association seemed the most important thing in my life at the time,” Femke recalls. “But two board members in a relationship, that wouldn’t do at all, we thought. But when our house mates discovered we had a thing going, we could no longer avoid talking about it at the association. They didn’t see a problem at all, so we just went for it.”

What followed was a happy time as students. Femke and Jeroen do see differences with the situation of students today, though. “The student associations were accommodated in barracks on campus. PUF, the campus café, still existed. And instructors made slides which they projected on the wall by means of a projector,” Femke remembers. “At Plato, a beer cost 1.25 guilders. And on Wednesdays, we went to Café Marijnen, because their beer was only 1 guilder,” Jeroen smiles. “It was the time of copying music CDs. Mobile phones were a novelty. There were already students who sold mobile phone plans.” The greatest difference? Femke: “Studying is really expensive so students nowadays want to graduate as quickly as possible. We were of a generation that took it easy and enjoyed our time as students. Jeroen earned a bit of extra cash as a night porter at hotel-restaurant De Swaen when Cas Spijkers was head chef, I had administrative summer jobs. That was enough for us.”

Rome

Femke and Jeroen have now been together for 26 years, 17 of which as a married couple. “First we lived in a rental apartment in Tilburg, later we bought a flat. After having made wonderful trips through Central and South America and Canada, we wanted to settle down. We would have preferred to live in Vught but it was not affordable. We ended up in Oisterwijk by accident.” That was after a big wedding. Femke: “I wanted to be married before I turned 30, so I hinted as much to Jeroen.” Jeroen adds: “The obvious thing to do was propose to her there and then. But I thought it was a shame that it lacked the element of surprise. So that evening, on the couch, I told Femke: “Getting married, well, I’m not so sure.” I had to make a business trip to Los Angeles, and that is where I bought an engagement ring and a wedding ring.”

Two weeks later, the couple went to Rome. Jeroen: “I remember us waiting at the baggage carousel and Femke feeling something in my coat pocket. ‘What is that?’ she even asked. To my intense relief, she let it go. When we were in Rome, I took her out to dinner. On the way back to the hotel, we passed a cute little street, bathed in moonlight. I went down on one knee.” Femke: “It was like something out of a movie. I was completely in shock, I could not speak a word. It was totally unexpected.”

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Guest lecturer

Femke and Jeroen continue to live in Oisterwijk, together with their two children, aged 15 and 13. Femke works as a business controller at Natec, a wholesaler and distributor of solar products in ‘s-Hertogenbosch. Jeroen is a marketing manager at Philips. In that role, he is involved in Tilburg University. “A few years ago, I saw that a Sustainable Entrepreneurship course is available to students at Tilburg University. As part of my work, I’m involved in circular economy, so I also wanted to take that course, but it was not accessible to non-students. As it turned out, they were looking for people to teach guest lectures. So this year, I will be a guest lecturer for the sixth year in a row!!”

Date of publication: 18 March 2024