Our Mind Wanders Almost Half of the Time

"Though research on happiness is relatively new, it's clear that while our living conditions have improved enormously over the past decades, happiness, although it has grown, has not increased proportionally. This is due to two important psychological characteristics we possess. First, we have a huge focus on everything that goes wrong in our lives. This helped our ancestors to detect threats. But today, it mainly sours our experience of life. In the absence of real problems, we make small problems much bigger than they really are. Second, we adapt very quickly to improved conditions."

How can you do research a topic like happiness?

"In my work, I apply evolutionary theory to important philosophical questions. In my latest book, I use this approach for the age-old question of 'how can we be happy'? For this, I relied on research in various scientific domains such as biology and psychology, but I also looked at important philosophical and philosophical traditions such as Buddhism and Stoicism. During my research, I also started practicing meditation and other happiness practices, which had a profound impact. I experienced great benefits from it, and it became an integral part of my book."

Why is it so difficult for us to focus on positive things?

"The human mind has an incredibly large imagination, which means that on average, we are not focused on the present for 47 percent of our time. So, our mind is constantly wandering. And when our mind wanders, it's mainly about potential problems. Then we are worrying. In the dangerous and unpredictable environment of our ancestors, this helped anticipate threats and survive. Today, it mainly torments us. Research shows that we feel better even when performing boring repetitive tasks than when our minds wander.

And then I come to another important reason why we aren't happier: we adapt to improved conditions. This is called hedonic adaptation. You want to be happy and think it will happen when you buy something new, like a car, a house, or clothing. But you quickly get used to that, and then you want to make another purchase to be happy. But that will never happen. This attitude leads to chronic insatiability and dissatisfaction. And commerce cleverly exploits this by creating all kinds of non-existent needs.''

''Our modern environment—with its never-ending deadlines and busyness—causes chronic stress responses in many people. Our health and mental well-being suffer as a result. Addictions are also something we often struggle with today. To experience the euphoric effect of a brief dopamine peak (for example, in our evolutionary history, this occurred during food gathering), we turn to alcohol, drugs, and social media. This causes the natural dopamine production to decrease, making us feel worse and craving the next dose even more. This puts us in a negative spiral.

Loneliness is also a danger lurking in modern societies. In prehistory, people lived in groups of about 150 close ones with whom they had intimate contacts daily. Today, we live with more people than ever before. But ironically, we have never been so lonely. An estimated one in three adults suffers from loneliness."

What should we do to be happier in life?

"In the second part of my book, I show what we can do to significantly and permanently increase our happiness. We can work on three important pillars. First, we can develop equanimity. Imagine: you get a flat tire on your way to work. What follows is likely a stress surge and an endless series of alarmist thoughts that further elevate your stress and frustration levels. 'I'll never make it on time!' 'Why does this always happen to me?!' ... Those thoughts prolong the stress response, and so we remain gripped by negative emotions. Research shows that a stress response lasts no longer than 90 seconds if you don't feed it. Observing equanimous thoughts and emotions and not feeding them is the essence of Buddhism and the key to mindfulness. You can practice this with meditation and then apply it to life. In a serene state of mind, you can actually solve problems better than when you are gripped by intense emotions.

Furthermore, it is important to cultivate contentment: by realizing that things we crave will not make us sustainably happy. They are 'false roots'; they do not satisfy us.

- Michael Vlerick

Furthermore, it is important to cultivate contentment: by realizing that things we crave will not make us sustainably happy. They are 'false roots'; they do not satisfy us. You can practice contentment by, for example, recalling three good things daily that you are happy about. This trains your brain to focus on the good. The Stoics had a particularly powerful practice for developing contentment. They imagined all kinds of disasters that had not befallen them, which makes you particularly grateful for your life just as it is.

What is very clear from happiness research is that external circumstances have a much smaller impact on our happiness than we think. To become happier, you mainly need to work on yourself. This means stopping yourself from believing that you will only be happy once you have achieved a promotion, for example. Because you will quickly get used to that, and then you will crave the next thing. Research even shows that particularly successful people are not above-average happy and even more prone to addictions and depression. Of course, you can have ambitions, but don't think that you can only be happy if you achieve those ambitions. That's not true, and that thought actually hinders your happiness.